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My blog is worth $119,682.48.
How much is your blog worth?
Just gotta make damn sure all their lawyers are present too.
Fast-forward to one hour ago. I sat down in my "office" on my porcelain desk chair and started scrounging through the magazine rack. DOH! I forgot that my lovely wife had taken all of the Playboys and Maxims to the actual office upstairs in order to do some research for a marketing project. So I was stuck with a 2004 Guiness Book of World Records and a stack of out-dated cooking magazines. Then...a ray of hope! I saw the corner of a Reason magazine (also outdated, but I was absolutely confident that there had to be something in there I hadn't yet read!).
If you've never read Reason, I recommend it. It's really got some fantastic stuff in there that is so no-nonsense, it almost doesn't make sense at first. Once you come to grips
with the idea that it offers ideas and opinions on politics and society without the mindless partisanship or tribalism, it is literally a breath of fresh air otherwise unavailable through the modern media.Moving along...I FOUND IT!!! The article that gave me a shove in the chest away from the idea that UniGov is some sort of magical cure-all for the problems of big cities pushing the boundaries of their home counties, or battling plight in the distressed areas of town, or even just trying to keep the government small and efficient. Hell, this even addresses the horrible idea of building more slum in Fort Wayne by design! The article is entitled "Postmodern Politics in Action: 10 Signposts, past and present, to the coming decentralized political order" by Robert H. Nelson.
Now, I will not make you sit through all ten of the signposts, but I will certainly toss out the top three with respect to their relevance to Fort Wayne and Allen County.
Lakewood
In 1954, Lakewood, California became a newly incorporated city within the limits of Los Angeles County. Rather than provide its own services directly, Lakewood contracted with the county and other public and private parties. The Dell-style "Lakewood Plan" became the model for more than 30 other California "contract cities." Outside California, in Broward County, Florida, the contract city of Weston today has 65,000 residents, an annual budget of $100 Million, and only 3 city employees. The newest contract city: Sandy Springs, a suburb of Atlanta.
Sursum Corda
In 1992 the Sursum Corda housing project in Washington, D.C., was turned over to the tenants as a private cooperative. In October 2005, after a Metro stop opened nearby, and as property values rose rapidly, the board of directors voted to sell the whole project to KSI, a leading developer in the Washington area. The 167 low-income families in Sursum Corta received $80,000 per unit, a future share in KSI's development profits at the site, and an option to buy a discount-priced home in the new 500-unit project planned there. It was a private form of urban renewal--established, unlike the traditional sort of urban renewal, by a transaction between willing buyers and sellers.
Residential Improvement Districts
Facing poor public services and deteriorating downtown conditions, businesses increasingly have been banding together to create a new public/private hybrid, the business improvement district. Pioneered in New York City in the 1980's, a BID has a board of directors, can levy assessments, and in other ways resembles a private community association. Yale law professor Robert Ellickson proposes that the private association model be extended by legislatures to
deteriorating residential neighborhoods, resulting in what he calls a "block improvement district."So, what do you say, Fort Wayne? I can see a couple of things right off that will be required to make any of this legitimate here in The Fort. For starters, the people that live or work in any certain part of town will, in fact, have to give a shit about [the area/goal]. I personally think that this will be the hardest part in this particular town, as our voter turnouts prove that we can't even take the time out of our busy schedules to put somebody else in charge properly. These ideas most certainly would require active participation by the citizens. Or, if presented with this kind of idea, would the populace here in Fort Wayne scream bloody murder about being saddled with tasks that "the government should be doing?"
Yesterday I gave Pat White credit for being on the right side of an issue for all the right reasons. I was informed to day that my kudos were in error. It turns out that Pat was just parroting some Limbaugh-ism from a few days ago, whereby negating the nice things I mistakenly said.
Oops.
1. Getting called a racist by a snowflake-looking cracker white dude....as if he's got a dog in the fight.
2. People who have never heard of, or are just too stupid to understand the phrase "don't hate the player, hate the game."
3. Morons who don't understand why communal living always fails (everyone wants to be artists and poets, nobody wants to dig ditches or lay bricks).
4. People who claim to know or subscribe to the teachings of Eastern philosophy and Buddhism, and yet still handle themselves like po-mouf'ed white trash.
5. Anyone who thinks a little styrofoam beanie will actually keep their brains in their head if they are riding a bike and get hit by a car.
Chris Matthews, (best known for his stammering, stuttering, interrupting, frothing Phil Donahue style of "interviewing" and subsequent scrotum tickling of liberals) dislocated his jaw during last nights episode of "Hardballs" while "tossing the salad" of the esteemed Congressman from Massachusetts Ed "what war on terror?" Markey.
Matthews stayed true to form by lobbing softballs to Markey while pressing Peter King (R) New York to basically hand down a death sentence to the editor of the New York Slimes. In his now famous condescending style, Matthews continues to lead the pack of low ratings journalists who strive daily to tickle the "taint" of democratic party leaders.
Quipped Matthews "It's getting easier, I can hold my breath longer and I'm used to the taste."
Long-time ex-Democratic Primary candidate for Allen County Sheriff (and probably future ex-Democratic primary candidate for Allen County Sheriff) David Roach dropped me a line today in enthusiastic support of this blog and the important work we do here!Nice to hear from you, Roach!
We were so thrilled to get such an animated letter from Roach about this post that we decided to re-post this fine article from the Journal Gazette outlining some fond memories of Roach and his campaign for the office of Sheriff. Here's to lookin' at you, Roachster!
Ex-Klan member reveals Democratic bid for sheriff
The Journal Gazette
Perennial political candidate David Roach, of Fort Wayne, announced he plans to run for the Democratic nomination for Allen County sheriff next year.
Roach said via e-mail he wants to merge the Allen County Sheriff’s Department and the Fort Wayne Police Department. Roach also proposed increasing legalized gambling for the area.
Roach is a former Ku Klux Klan member, who now says he was working as a “voluntary covert operative” for law enforcement, but he has never produced any documentation to support the claim.
Allen County Democratic Party Chairman Kevin Knuth said the party will have a news conference in the near future to publicly dismiss Roach’s candidacy. He said Roach, who has been on primary ballots before in numerous races, is not a viable candidate and is not supported by the local party.
From today's Fat Head & Fat Ass Show on WOWO, Pat discusses the proposed constitutional amendment to ban flag burning:
White: "This is not the kind of thing the various state governments or the Federal Government need to be spending taxpayer time and money to accomplish. The Constitution was created to tell the Government what it couldn't do, NOT to tell the people what they couldn't do."
I can only think of one reason that Pat picked today to pull his head out of his ass:
Check out this piece of shit that was broadcast to the inboxes of Americas disenfranchised at the hand of Gore:
Dear [Insert First_Name = Naive Prospective Contributor] In all my years in public life, I have never seen leaders that act with the contempt for the truth as I have witnessed in George Bush's administration.
The evidence now makes it hard to avoid the conclusion that George Bush has repeatedly and insistently broken the law and the corrupt Republican Congress has shirked its constitutional duty to hold him to account.
In my view, a president who breaks the law poses a threat to the very foundation of our democracy. As Americans with a stake in the future of our country, we must act quickly and decisively. We have less than five months to win the six seats we need to control the Senate -- and pull our country back from the brink of a constitutional crisis.
The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee is leading the fight to restore a Democratic majority in the U.S. Senate that will put the brakes on Bush's unprecedented expansion of power. The DSCC has one job and one job only -- to close the fundraising gap between Democrats and Republicans running for Senate in all the key states. Early television ads and field organizing during the third quarter are critical to success in November -- we need your help before June 30.
To help us surpass our fundraising target, a group of Democratic Senators have agreed to match your donations dollar for dollar -- meaning that your gift is instantly doubled. If you have ever thought of contributing to the DSCC, now is the time.
I first ran for Congress in 1976, served eight years in the House, eight years in the Senate, and ran in national campaigns four times -- two for president and two as vice president. I know what it takes to win.
There is a great debate among us about whether we should run campaigns that turn out our base voters or spend our resources persuading swing voters. I ask you not to make Democrats choose -- we need both strategies to prevail. The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee has a comprehensive month-by-month plan to win Senate races across the country and elect a Democratic majority in November. We need your help to implement that plan. Making a contribution to the DSCC today is the strongest statement you can make that you will not allow George Bush and his Senate allies to trample the Constitution.
Even in the age of the Internet, television ads are crucial for introducing candidates to the voters. The DSCC faces an enormous challenge because our candidates are running against well-known Republican incumbents. As they prepare to fight the coming air war, Democrats are already feeling the effects of Republicans' special interest fundraising advantage. We're counting on small grassroots donations to close the gap.
Almost as many resources are needed for a modern-day field effort. The DSCC is leading the way in an unprecedented voter identification program in fourteen states, including door-to-door canvassing, phone banks, direct mail, and more -- and sharing our information with state and local parties. This field work must be completed during July and August if our candidates are to be competitive in the fall.
I am writing to you because you are the heart and soul of the Democratic Party. It is people like you who have the power to control America's future -- and the world's. Please take immediate action today. Together, we can elect a Democratic Senate and stand up to the Bush's administration's truly breathtaking disregard for American values.
Sincerely,
Al Gore
P.S. I know you have friends, family, co-workers and neighbors who want to end George Bush's nightmarish regime. Please forward this message and ask them to make a donation to help elect a Democratic Senate and put a stop to his radical agenda.
I think the hardcore groveling speaks for itself, my work here is done. Please note the use of "nightmarish regime." Truly some classic Wes Cravenesque imagery, isn't it? That Al Gore, what an actor!Please take the time to read the FAQ and the corresponding answers...I think they will put to bed any concerns the average citizen may encounter while trying to sort the poisonous liberal mantra from the truths and facts, which are readily available if people are willing to look past the self-absorbed, limp-wristed, goat-fucking terrorist-spooning leftard drivel which is constantly flowing like a river of toxic stool from the rank-and-file liberal twits (as well as their loose-anused brainwashers).
Q. What's a chicken hawk? Is it like some sort of half-hawk, half-chicken?
A. Actually, it's a hawk that eats chicken. And rats.
Q. Cool! What's its wingspan?
A. 28-30 in. (male); 31-34 in. (female)
Q. The female is bigger.
A. Well don't tell her that, or she'll think you're implying she's fat and will peck your eyes out.
Q. So why do supporters of the war get called "chicken hawks" like its an insult?
A. Well, the short answer is some people are morons.
Q. What's the long answer?
A. Back when man first started to learn to use tools, certain spears were made using...
Q. What's the medium-length answer?
A. Many liberals, in their diminished mental capacities, like to have a word or phrase to shout over and over in lieu of the mental preparedness needed for an actual debate of issues. Fighting tyranny is a complicated issue, and, rather than admit they’re on the side of tyranny, many liberals will try to avoid debate altogether in any way possible.
Q. Liberals seem to use the phrase "chicken hawk" against people who aren't in the military? Do liberals want a government where decisions are only made by those in the military?
A. No, they hate the military.
Q. But they say they support the troops!
A. And you can train a parrot to say the same thing. That doesn't mean anything.
Q. So what would happen if someone in the military tried to debate them on the issues?
A. First, the liberal would try to find some way of discounting the military service so that the person is still, in their bloodshot eyes, a "chicken hawk" by their understanding. If unsuccessful, they will then find some other phrase to shout over and over, such as "baby-killer," "you only joined the military because you were too and dumb and too poor for anything else," or "you may have been in Iraq, but you still don't know what you're talking about because you don't read twenty newspapers a day."
Q. Who reads newspapers anymore? They're gay.
A. You know that and I know that, but, as usual, liberals are behind the times.
Q. It doesn't sound like there is any point in trying to debate anti-war liberals.
A. There really isn't. The best idea is to carry a water bottle with you, and, when a liberal start shouting a repetitive phrase at you, spray him in the face. If timed properly, the liberal will associate annoying phrases with getting sprayed in the face with water and thus stop his bad behavior. This will take patience, as liberals are harder to train than dogs since they lack a natural sense of loyalty.
Q. In a documentary about prehistoric times, I learned about something called a "record player." Apparently, sometimes a record player would "skip" and cause the same thing to be repeated over and over. The solution was to strike the record player really hard. Would this work against liberals?
A. I've recently been accused of "hostile" humor, so I'm not going to answer that other than to say, "Follow your heart."
Q. Shouldn't one who thinks we should be in war then join to fight in that war?
A. That seems like a retarded argument. You can be for putting out fires without being a fireman and be for arresting criminals without being a cop. The only ones who seem to be making the "if you support the war, you have to join the military" are liberals who hate the military. No one in the military I've known has made that argument. In fact, many have told me I should never even touch a gun.
Q. But you own plenty of guns.
A. This is America; the military can't tell us civilians what to do. Only I tell me what to do... and my wife.
Mainly my wife.
Q. So what are the 101st Fighting Keyboardists?
A. They are a group of bloggers out to fight the war on the media front.
Q. Why would the media front be important?
A. Unfortunately, as hard as our military men and women fight, they can still lose by the American public turning against the conflict and convincing whiny politicians into pulling everyone out. That's because we've still yet to learn the main lesson of the Vietnam War.
Q. Which is?
A. Don't lose wars. Otherwise, people - especially the enemy - will declare any conflict "just like that other war America lost" and be certain America will pull out if enough pressure is put on the American people. This means much more fighting is needed to convince the enemy we are serious.
Q. But can bloggers really help?
A. Sure we can! We've forced the media to look into issues they've wanted to ignore in the past. In this conflict, the media tends to focus on the negative, much to the frustration of our troops who have been over there and seen what it's really like. By highlighting the good on our blogs and giving the military general support, we can shame the media into giving fuller coverage of the entire conflict... as long as some girl doesn't go missing in Aruba.
Q. But I thought the liberal-media had no shame?
A. Well, you got me there.
Q. So why use the chicken hawk as the symbol for the 101st Fighting Keyboardists?
A. Because the chicken hawk kills and devours chickens and rats, and the anti-war crowd is really just a bunch of chickens and rats whom we must kill and devour. I mean that symbolically, of course, as no cannibalism will be involved.
Q. I'm active duty in the military. Can I still be a member of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists?
A. Sure. As long as you can find time to report on what you're doing, then you're helping in the media war.
Q. Writing sounds hard. I just want to join the military and kill terrorists.
A. You sound as lazy as my brother, Joe foo’ the Marine. Fine, just kill terrorists, but remember that, if we can't win the war in the media, you may be pulled out of there and not be able to kill terrorists anymore. And that would be a sorry thing.
Q. What happened to the 1st through 100th Fighting Keyboardists?
A. Saudi cyber-jihadists got them.
Q. This sounds scary.
A. It is! But we must persevere.
Q. I don't like that gringo Bush because of his lax stance on illegal immigration and his spending. Can I still be a part of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists?
A. All you have to do is support the war... which does usually mean supporting the President in war issues. In foreign affairs, the President becomes a symbol of America.
Q. Is that why the liberals hate Bush so much?
A. It's complicated. They are angry and need to hate something, so they project all they think is wrong onto Bush because it’s easier to direct one's hatred at a person than an issue. They also like to pretend that anyone who supports the war must be mindlessly following Bush on everything because that keeps everything in line with their skewed world view.
Q. It's kinda like when anything goes wrong, small minds just blame the Jews.
A. Exactly. Jews are fun to blame.
Q. Do the liberals want American troops to fail?
A. Pretty much. You can feel their barely restrained glee as the troop death toll goes to a number the find significant - usually a round number. They then use the death of our brave fighting men and women against the very things they fought and died for.
Q. They sound like ghouls.
A. Only if you go by the strict definition of what's a ghoul.
Q. So are they against America?
A. Well, let's look at the slogan of a group that says it believes you have to join the war if you are for it: Operation Yellow Elephant.
It's their war. Why aren't they fighting it?
As you see, they don't consider the current war on terror and the fight of American troops to be their concern. It's the war of "other people."
But don't question their patriotism.
Q. Why not?
A. I was being sarcastic. Go ahead and question it.
Q. How can you question what is not there?
A. I don't have time to be philosophical.
Q. Okay! I'm in! I want to be a part of the 101st Fighting Keyboardist and help kill and devour the chickens out there! How do I sign up?
A. Captain Ed has the details. You can use the banner designed by Chief of Freedom Dogs, and I have a smaller version on my left sidebar.
Now keep your keyboard clean and battle ready.
Just look back to the 1990's. I seem to recall balanced budgets, welfare reform, a bustling economy, respect from most of the world. Oh wait. . that all must have been a dream.
Here's my response:
Some semi-lucid contrived poppycock maybe, a dream...I doubt it. Balanced budgets? Yeah, if you ignore the fact that a surplus within the
social security system was counted as revenue and then subsequently spent by the government as if it were actually theirs to waste. Bustling economy? Yeeeeeha, that was the tech bubble John! That had nothing to do with government, and anyway, it still burst and fucked over about 20 million investors. Welfare reform??? Uhhh, yeah, that worked real well...the debate over its effectiveness is still going on today. And you wanna talk about international respect? Check out the picture in this post...that's from a MEXICAN blog. Even the friggin' gauchos were laughing at us during the 90's for fscks sake. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not a card-carrying Bush-ite either...but c'mon, enough with the Bill Clinton salad-tossing already...your mouth must be getting tired.
I swear, some people you just wanna choke. Take this guy for example. He makes a HUGE DEAL out of the fact that the 500 Iraqi chemical weapons finds that were declassified pre-dated the Iraq War, and goes on a fisting rampage aimed at Rick Santorum. The twit spews paragraphs of hate-speak calling [Santorum] a liar, as if he were trying to hide the fact that these were old weapons.
After an exhaustive 35 seconds worth of research, I found this quote from the aforementioned Fox News/Rick Santorum piece:
The weapons are thought to be manufactured before 1991 so they would not be proof of an ongoing WMD program in the 1990s. But they do show that Saddam Hussein was lying when he said all weapons had been destroyed, and it shows that years of on-again, off-again weapons inspections did not uncover these munitions.
[...]
"This does not reflect a capacity that was built up after 1991," the official said, adding the munitions "are not the WMDs this country and the rest of the world believed Iraq had, and not the WMDs for which this country went to war."
Gee, that was pretty tough. How about this:
Eat a dick you braindead goat-humping scumbag. Save your breath for a battle that you are mentally equipped to win....a Connect Four game with a preschooler, for example.
Congress Gives Itself a Raise.
Mark "Big Money Hustla" Souder and Nancy "Plastic Facial Parts" Pelosi both vote yea...along with 247 of their fat- wallet fsckhead buddies. They very quietly tucked it in with some other defense-budget legislation...
I wish I could accurately spell out the noise that a vomiting person makes...
Taking Down Words made an attempt at J4TR-style Sack-Slitting by poking fun at a couple of candidates who can't remember Tim Berry's name. Unfortunately for TDW, if you're going to bust chops for faux pas, then you've gotta bust ALL the chops. TDW then goes on to engage in some apologist spooning with one of the nitwits whilst pistol whipping the others.
It's bad policy for a pundit to attempt this type of hair-splitting. It almost always leads to a stumble or fall.
Over the next year, my lovely wife and I will begin shopping for a minivan. We are starting our research already, so we've already come up with three primary choices (displayed in no particular order):
Now, I've done some reading on these units, but I've yet to make up my mind or even start leaning one way over another just yet....
The Entourage is a new model for 2007, but it sports a kick-ass warranty and good-as-they-come crash test ratings.
The Odyssey looks like a million bucks (for a minivan) and gets the best gas mileage of the three. Plus, Hondas are well reputed for their longevity.
The Sedona has a user-rating of 9.7 out of 10, the other two are only rated at a 9.1. Also, it's the cheapest and has a similar warranty to the Hyundai.
Any thoughts?
First off, sponsor a damn duck. There's no reason not to (I'm of limited means, and even I can afford $5 for a duck (which is a glorified raffle ticket to win $5k). These ducks are literally straight-up donations for SCAN (Stop Child Abuse & Neglect), and your duck will race in the grueling annual event at the Johnny Appleseed Park boat ramp on Saturday June 24, from 10 till Noon. There will be lots of other activities for the kids...you know, face painting and what-not.Now, on to the agitation portion of the story. Today, my lovely wife and I escorted our son Axl to Cebolla's at Time Corners (yes, you slack-jawed rednecks, that's TIME CORNERS. ONE CLOCK, MANY CORNERS...I swear the next time I hear somebody call it "Times Corners" or "Times Corner" I'm gonna be incensed enough to choke somebody). Cebolla's is great wetback cuisine...I'd recommend it to anyone with a taste for cheap Mexified sustenance. The SCAN ladies hit us up on the way in the door (they were camped out behind a card table in front of the adjacent copy shop), and we respectfully informed them that we would be sponsoring our duck after we dined (hey, we were hungry).
We both got the Monday Lunch Special which is Fajitas with steak or chicken and a soft drink for $6.85....kick ASS deal!!! I was very full, and we still had leftovers. Fast-forward to "after lunch." As we had indicated to the SCAN ladies, we immediately moved from Cebolla's exit to their makeshift booth. We sponsored a duck in the name of each of our children. As my wife completed the necessary paperwork to officially put ducks in the race, the younger of the two SCAN ladies cheerily addressed a pair of super-important looking business-suit type gents who were approaching Cebolla's front door. These fellows were sporting leather laptop computer bags and were wearing uber-fancy shoes that looked like they
probably cost more than the average Joe's monthly car payment. I watched the two fellows as they acknowledged her chatter by looking her way, then broke eye contact and went inside. That was it.I was fscking steamed...just that fast. These two assholes didn't even have the nerve to respectfully decline, or even to tell the lady to "pack sand." They just acted as if she were some bum begging for bourbon money...this lady who took time out of her schedule (no matter what her schedule is, maybe she's skipping her afternoon soap operas for the week....I don't know) to try to scrounge up money to help abused and neglected children. Fsck those two guys AND their lunch meeting. Well, I guess it's possible that they had to get inside to start their meeting to save the planet, or cure cancer, or maybe to bring closure to the Darfur dilemma...but I doubt it, I suspect they were probably going to "think outside the box" and "network" and so forth in order to put enough scratch in their checkbooks to make a BMW payment and buy an extra pair of
those uber-fancy shoes.I'm sorry, but all of the wealthy folks I know like to make charitable donations so that they can write off some income from their taxes. Sweet. Whatever. But here's a charity that actually does something worthwhile, unlike United Way which only feeds its top-heavy beauracracy. Sorry, but if you don't feel a little empathy for abused and neglected kids....not even enough to come off a measly $5, then you aren't much of a human....but if you don't even have the stones to at least tell these ladies you're not interested in helping abused little kids, you sure as fuck aren't a man. I can respect your decision not to donate if you choose not to do so, but screw you if you can't even look them squarely in the eye and decline their plea.
Like I said, sponsor a damn duck.
Well, here's an update for the monster jam-fest featuring two nights of eKoostik Hookah and many many more...Click the image of the flyer to see a big (and legible) version.
I'm told $50 gets you tix for both nights plus a camping spot. Campfires are fine as long as they reside in a pit of some type. RV passes are available for an extra ten bucks.
Kids are free (under 12, I think) so it really could feasibly be an all-ages-friendly affair.
Check out the website for further details, get tix at Jambase.
It's official, The Cranky NeoCon has cut loose the restraints of partisan bondage (well, I guess THAT sounds kinda fun...) and set the swine loose on the World. The Insufferable Pricks Party has officially taken to the open sea under her own power with a mission: Destroy the Republicratic Machine which is currently both the captain and saboteur of our Federal Government and our Country.When all of the other pricks
have gotten too soft for
positions of power.
Hopefully, this spells the end of the dreaded Republicrat Regime, but somehow I think it shall be a long and gory battle. If you watch the video footage of the Republicrat/Insufferable Prick televised debates, I'll be easy to spot. I'm the fat one in the corner throwing handfulls of feces at people and pissing in my own mouth.
At least now we only have to read his bullshit in one place instead of two. I guess this means we can safely assume that "Editorial Directors" don't necessarily like having their asses regularly handed to them in their own forum (ahem, Timmy Z).
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Thanks bro.
It takes over 8 minutes to play, but for any jazz enthusiast, it is actually way too short. I will, however, not complain.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....He he he he he he he he he ....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
BAWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HA HA HA HA HOOOOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
Oh shit....can't stop laughing....HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA HA
Oh man, fawk....(gasping for air)
HA HA HA HA HA OMYGOD THAT IS SOOOOO FSCKING FUNNY!!!!!
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
BAWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HA HA HA HA HOOOOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
....HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
BAWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HA HA HA HA HOOOOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
....HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
BAWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HA HA HA HA HOOOOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
....HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
BAWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
. . . I'll stand on my prior predictions. The best Karl Rove can hope for is a false statement charge. He's not getting a pass, and Viveca only helps him avoid a perjury and possibly an obstruction charge.
WRONG YOU FUCKING TWIT! NO CHARGES FILED!!!
HA HA HA HA HOOOOOOOOO HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
....HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
BAWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
This is my favorite "Before Today" and "After Today" Photochop:
After Today's News:
....HE HE HE HE HE HE HA HA HA HA HAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA....
He he he he he he he he he ....
BAWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Oh good Lord...I seem to have laughed so hard I pissed myself...
From The Straight Dope:
The Difference Between #1 and #2 Pencils!
I'm not sure why it never occurred to me that there must, in fact, be a #1, a #3 and scores of other numbered pencils...perhaps I just didn't care?
Ever heard some douchebag at the office yapping about how many vacations he has skipped in order to be the perfect corporate lapdog? Here is a guy who has something to say about missing out on vacations to feed the corporate dick-sucking machine.
Organized protesting is truly an excellent way to make a point. Oh, wait...no it's not. H/T Where are my socks? via Samantha Burns.
From Wikipedia:
On June 8, Republican Brian P. Bilbray recieved a plurality with 60,319 votes (49.33%) to becomes the district's congressman for the remainder of the 109th Congress. He will serve till January 3, 2007. Elections will be held again in November to select the district's next congressman.
Cool! So the lynch pin of the Democrat revolution just got sheared off…what’s Howard Dean gonna do now that the first wheel just fell off the DNC’s long-term strategy? Hell, this one was supposed to be a gimme putt! Cunningham was such a turdcake that the voters most certainly would vote Democrat from here on out, right? I totally sense some Presidential foreshadowing here. I’ve been saying all along that Democrats need to focus on something other than the perceived shortcomings of the GOP, like...ummm, how about their so-called "agenda?" I guess I was right again.
Wanna hear the funniest part? Kos agrees with me.
Democrats are not motivated to turn out. Sure, Busby exceeded Kerry's 43 percent he got in the district in 2004, but not by much. She got 45.46%. If the "culture of corruption" message was enough to bring people out to vote Democratic, this would be the place to do it.
Size and emphasis were added to the second half of Kos's quote by yours truly, just to drive home my unwavering correctliness. So, we're right back to the "Howard Dean is strategy-retarded and a political liability" debate. Sweet...its one of my favorite discussions to have!
Well, it certainly has been a tumultuous day in Fort Wayne News, well, at least for Sylvia Smith. This morning, Craig Mahavishnu Bertrand Matthew Philip Windsor Skinner Esq. over at one of our favorite lefty slop-troughs Repugnant and Fruity made note that according to Sylvia Smith’s article from the Journal, we could look forward to both of our State’s fine Senators to be registering a “Nay” vote with respect to the FMA.
Had this actually happened, I would have been quite pleased. My political beliefs are such that I don’t think the Federal Government or the Constitution have any place discussing or assigning certain roles, attributes or “status” to human genitals or the behaviors, lifestyles or 
relationships that spring forth from peoples’ usage thereof. I really couldn’t care less what people do with their genitals, as long as they do not impose said genitals, pictures thereof, or descriptions involving scenarios or behaviors related to them upon the ears, eyes, other senses or general persons of my family, immediate or extended. I will happily, graciously and respectfully reciprocate.
However, of our two fine Senators, only Mr. Bayh agreed with my position and did, in fact, cast a “Nay” vote.
Too bad, Sylvia! Your streak of not delivering accurate news is actually going to continue without interruption!
On a brighter note, a second headline was available from the same article:
Arlen Specter Gets It Right
Lawmakers from both parties – including several who said they support a one-man, one-woman definition of marriage – complained that the Senate leader scheduled the debate even though the outcome was known.
“We have many, many pressing and important matters” that should get three days of Senate attention, said Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa
That’s what I’m talking about!!! Please fix our deficit! Please fix our schools! Please fix our immigration policy! Please take a hatchet to our race-biased entitlement programs! Please end welfare! Please leave the homosexuals alone! If they wish to exert what little political influence they have so that they can get married and play house, so be it! Why should
we give a fsck??? Gay marriage doesn’t mean that EVERY marriage performed must be of two homosexuals…I’m sure the gays don’t mind if heterosexuals continue getting married as well. We as a country have all of these HUGE problems, and for some reason, our legislators seem to think that they need to pander to the likes of Fred Phelps and his cult of lunatics by addressing one of the most trivial debates of our times!
Thank you, Arlen Specter, R-PA. I couldn’t have said it better had I been there myself. I might have made it more colorful, but it’s the thought that counts.
I would like to sumbit my application for membership to the Insufferable Pricks Party, and also my logo for consideration. I look forward to serving my country as the biggest prick I can be...by God, I think I've already begun!
ADK
Why is it that we as human members of society in the U.S. seem to want everyone to treat us with contempt and disdain? What is it that makes us want to look down on others? The almost uniquely American desire to have the biggest, baddest, fastest, shiniest, most powerfullest [sic] stuff drives us to do all sorts of things we don't want to do...like go to work and so forth. And we all know that the end result of getting all of these things is literally that most people will begin to look at us with contempt because we got more stuff than they did. Is it not, then, a logical assumption to say that we do this hoarding specifically so that others do look at us with hatred and envy?
Mat had a look something like this on his face when I posed that question.
I can't blame him, suppose most people wouldn't expect a fat moron with a mouthful of Arby's to bust out with some philosophizing on the socio-economics of materialism.
Please notice the wire "fish" under the word Chrysler on the left side of the trunk; I have found these to be stunningly similar driver-stupefying accessories to WBCL stickers.
Now, I'm not sure if you can read the sticker on the side of the jet, but this is the best part...it made me laugh my ass off. Here is an enlarged version of the sticker for all to read and enjoy:
Yeah, I thought the missle was a nice touch...
| You Are Big Bird |
 Talented, smart, and friendly... you're also one of the sanest people around. You are usually feeling: Happy. From riding a unicycle to writing poetry, you have plenty of hobbies to keep you busy. You are famous for: Being a friend to everyone. Even the grumpiest person gets along with you. How you life your life: Joyfully. "Super. Duper. Flooper." |
| You Are Pork |
 You like to think you're the other white meat, but many people don't want anything to do with you. You probably smoke. And it's likely that no body part of yours is off limits. |
Let me first say that many of the online tests have squarely categorized me without question. The political test? Pegged me as a Libertarian (big L), but Mike Sylvester has known that since by blog was only an infant (I guess I'm just that transparent). My movie test came out as Easy Rider, as a world leader I was Abe Lincoln (one of my historical favorites), and my "How Evil Are You?" test (scroll down, it's at the very bottom of the page to try it) nailed me at 58% evil, which is just about right I think.
Then comes this little kerplunk...a test consisting of less than ten questions which tries to sum-up your entire religious belief system. Hey, it's worth a try, right? Sure! However, in the list of questions, I could only find one answer (out of all the choices for all of the questions) with which I actually agreed whole-heartedly. So evidently, the other questions on which I just attempted to "get close," say that I'm an agnostic. Well, it's not really very close to "on the money," but whatever, it's just a gamel, right?
| You are Agnostic |
 You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you. |
I saw this headline this morning on my Google Homepage:
Abbas set to call referendum on statehood
So naturally, I was expecting to find the much sought-after unholy union of disco and politics at the other end of the link. I almost cried when I found out that the article was actually about this dork and NOT the real Abba.
Oh well, life goes on.
1. Why do people with Michigan license plates think that the speed limit applies only to others?2. Why is it that anytime I get cut off in traffic, tailgated, or otherwise screwed on the local thoroughfare, the person at fault usually has a WBCL bumper sticker? Does that radio station send subliminal messages to folks encouraging them to drive like fscking morons?
3. If I'm passing an 18-wheeler on the interstate using my cruise control, why do people insist on driving up my ass? I ALWAYS slow down if somebody pulls that shit with me... Oh, I remember, see question number one.
4. Why do 18-wheelers NOT get tickets for traveling well in excess of 15MPH over the limit CONSTANTLY? I never drive UNDER the speed limit, but somehow the big trucks manage to pass me occasionally, even though their speed limit is always 60-65MPH.
5. Why are OTR truck drivers not required to pick up the hazardous chunky remains of their jettisoned retreads? Those things are dangerous.
6. What makes it "cool" to unhook your muffler from a little chick car like a Honda Civic? I'm pretty sure it doesn't enhance the "performance" (and I do use that word loosely in reference to Civics), and even if it did enhance the "performance," what's an extra couple of MPH when you're driving a sewing machine?
7. Why do people insist on putting ridiculous "spoilers" or "deck wings" on front wheel drive cars? Aren't they to keep your tires gripping the road at high speeds when negotiating curves?
Seems like a waste to put one on the trunk of a car on which the drive tires are at the opposite end.8. Why do people on Harleys flutter their throttles constantly? Do those bikes really run that poorly that they're going to stall at any second? Or is it just some ridiculous display of plumage lke a mullett, a gaudy tattoo or a nose-piercing?
9. How do people in Fort Wayne pass their driving tests? I seldom run across a competent driver in Fort Wayne traffic. Well, I guess Boston is worse...
UPDATE: I hadn't done much reading this morning, but it appears as if John Good has a nice little driving test for everyone to take...
10. Now that the "north side of town" is almost to Garrett, does that mean I live "downtown" since I am south of DuPont road?
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